How open-ended sensory play can strengthen sibling bonds

by Louise
Two girls playing with a dropper and the PlayTRAY

Louise @inspiremyplay

Part of the @InspireMyPlay team. Sensory play specialist and mum to two boys.

Whatever the age gap, sibling relationships can be complex, especially when it comes to playtime! And whilst they may have us scratching our heads at the emotional rollercoaster siblings can go through daily, it can be helpful to know that they are also laying the groundwork for future relationships.    

This is their earliest peer group, and a crucial safe place to learn about communication, body language, social cues, empathy, compassion, conflict resolution and healthy boundaries to name just a few.    

Every sibling is different, while one child may enjoy puzzles and books, another might be drawn to active or messy play.    

These differences can sometimes lead to challenges in finding shared activities. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard a desperate shout of “muuuum! He’s ruining my lego build!” or “he’s not playing by the rules!!”    

However, open-ended sensory play offers a fantastic way for siblings to engage in meaningful, cooperative experiences that help them bond, learn from each other, and enjoy quality time together.


Shared Early Experience

Sensory play involves activities that engage a child’s senses—touch, sight, sound, taste, and smell. It can include anything from water play and sand exploration to finger painting, simple sensory bases using household items, and nature walks.    

Sharing these experiences not only fosters learning and creativity between siblings but also provides a unique way for children of different ages to play and interact together when there are no ‘rules’ of how the play should happen and no end results to compare against.

We go into some more depth about the wider benefits of sensory play here.

If you’d like to find out how you can start your sensory play journey today you can download our free Beginner’s Guide to Sensory Play ebook

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Practicing problem-solving skills through parallel play

In our house we have a three-year age gap between siblings, and whilst they share some general interests, their passions are different, and they have vastly different modes of play!

When we had a baby & a pre-schooler, they both enjoyed water-play activities, or a tray filled with rice, scoops, bowls and hidden treasures, each engaging with it at their own level of development. The older sibling would be creating imaginative storylines, or some elaborate project while the younger one delighted in the textures and simple cause-and-effect of scooping & pouring or becoming deeply focussed on picking something up between thumb & finger.


We keep sensory play open-ended and adaptable, we set no rules or expectations of the activity itself, our only expectations are those around containing the mess within the play boundary and respecting each other’s right to share in the fun! Allowing children to freely explore shared materials supports gross and fine motor skills as well as allowing children to observe and mimic others. Additionally, it fosters trust, empathy, and awareness of others' emotions. Sensory play gives us great opportunity to practice these important skills in a safe and fun way and yes, even the adults enjoy it!

Rehearsing social, emotional and cognitive skills through co-operative play.

Most of our sensory activities are carried out using our PlayTRAY and accessories which means they require shared space and materials, and you guessed it – this naturally promotes turn-taking and teamwork. Activities like building a sandcastle, making homemade playdough, or ‘cooking’ together all helps them learn to collaborate, and compromise with others, skills which can be transferred when they are inevitably faced with conflict outside of the home.

Fostering independence and building self-esteem.

When children engage in sensory play, they are immersed in a shared experience rather than competing with each other for your attention. The calming nature of sensory play—like pouring rice through a funnel, playing with kinetic sand or sharing in a sneaky taste of edible mud while the grown-ups aren’t looking - can all reduce stress and frustration, leading to more positive interactions between siblings. Shared laughter and enjoyment create happy memories, reducing resentment or rivalry.

Older siblings often naturally take on leadership roles in open-ended sensory play when there are no rules or adult imposed processes placed upon them, modeling new skills for their younger siblings and often taking responsibility for making sure their young counterpart has the tools and resources needed within reach. A preschooler might show a toddler how to mix colors using droppers, or an 8 year old might explain to their 5 year old sibling some of their favourite scientific concepts while experimenting with oil & water or some pepper & a drop of dish soap in water.   

By playing together in this creative way patience, confidence, and a sense of responsibility can all be naturally fostered in an older sibling while encouraging the younger sibling to use their emerging observation and listening skills.


Emotional support and security

Just like an adult sharing an experience with a friend, by sharing these enjoyable moments, siblings develop emotional connections too. Laughing over a messy recipe, being wowed by a science experiment or enjoying the soothing feeling of a sensory mix together strengthens their bond. These small, joyful interactions build a foundation of affection and kinship that lasts far beyond that one activity and helps them work and play together in other ways too.    

But what if your particular set of siblings run a mile whenever you ask them to play together? Disappearing into the distance with cries of ‘he’s too young!’ or ‘that’s boring!’


My favourite way to encourage sensory play these days is to create a simple set up and leave it to be found in a communal place such as the dining table, kitchen floor or garden when they get home from school, or sometimes on the bath rack when I run them a bath. Letting them discover it without introducing it first allows them to make all their own decisions about how to play with it and get really collaborative together.

Emotional regulation

My children, like most others I’m sure, occasionally seem to wake up acting like arch enemies. If they’ve already been combative that day, or their mood is such that I think they might need some encouragement to begin with, I will often join them first to act as both a model and a mediator before gradually moving away once they have settled in to collaborative play. I do this whenever I can, because my presence seems to make them look to me for instruction or approval, when what is really needed in these moments is for them to come together and smooth out those ruffles of rivalry. So I provide the initial stability until everyone is feeling more regulated, then gradually move away, leaving them to re-connect through their play.    


Open-ended sensory play is more than just a fun activity—it’s a bridge that connects siblings despite differences in age or interests. By creating these shared experiences, fostering cooperation, and encouraging mutual learning, this kind of play helps strengthen their bond. With a little creativity and some simple materials, we can nurture a positive sibling relationship at home which provides the foundation model for future friendships outside of their home… and hopefully allow ourselves a bit of time take a breath and enjoy the peaceful moment!

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